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But, as my therapist soon pointed out, a lot happened while I was ensconced in couple-dom. I went to grad school twice and traveled to five continents. I also lost my dad and adopted a dog. Yet divorce left me stunted, and very cautious about dating. Thus, dating has become increasingly intentional. I continue to make so many mistakes despite my years of experience.
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But mistakes have led to some interesting adventures. I once dated a waiter-artist who was clearly a hoarder and possibly a Republican; a lifeguard-improvisational-comedian who rode a fixie and liked to call me Mrs. I learned that the quickest way to lose a friend is to date one, and the quickest way to ruin a group of friends is to date within the circle.
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I look at her and I wonder, how can she be having a tough time? She went on Craigslist, Yahoo Personals, and Match. And then my Obama-loving mama met a thrice-married Libertarian sheep rancher who lived outside of Lodi, and they fell madly in love. They were married by two Buddhist priests at an Italian restaurant off the side of a rural highway; she wore a purple dress, silver shoes, and pink flowers in her hair.
No one would flirt with me on the bus, kiss me at the stroke of midnight, or tell me they thought I was cute.